Donald Trump issues statement on Ted Cruz birth certificate
Following the release of Ted Cruz’s birth certificate, Donald Trump issued the following statement:
From the Desk of Donald Trump (née Drumpf)
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
It took great courage for Senator Rafael Cruz to come forward today and reveal voluntarily that he is actually a citizen of Canada.
This is the kind of courage that runs in the Cruz family. His dad did, after all, fight with Castro during the Communist revolution in his native Cuba, before taking his new wife to a socialist Canadian hospital to give birth to Rafael, Jr.
As my gazillions of adoring Twitter fans know, I encourage everyone to embrace their heritage. Whether it’s Jon Stewart, Ted Cruz, or even the rest of the Drumpf family. (Sorry kids, Trump’s just a name granddaddy Drumpf made up.)
Rafael “Ted” Cruz is just the kind of politician Canada needs right now. I encourage him to head north immediately to defund the Canadian healthcare system and start fracking the bejesus out of the land of the “True North Strong and Free.”
I commend Ted Cruz for his leadership, his commitment to building a stronger Canada, and above all his thick and lustrous hair.
I wish him the very best in his future endeavors.