PAT ROBERTSON SMITES HIS SINNING ADVERSARIES WITH LIGHTNING!

PAT ROBERTSON SMITES HIS SINNING ADVERSARIES WITH LIGHTNING!

Liberal Bias

There was a story last week that most people missed, and it’s theological and metaphysical import have been largely overlooked.

Specifically, a staff member at the Creationist Museum in Kentucky was struck by lightning! Or, close enough: he was electrocuted when he touched a zip line on the park that had been energized by lightning.

Some people might overlook this story as trivial, but followers of the One True Godly Word of Pat Robertson know that God controls all weather events.

Pat Robertson has told us that Katrina was caused by abortions, drought in America is caused by general sinning and naughtiness, and has been reporting these things for many, many years.  He is well-known in Godly circles as “God’s Weatherman“.

So why would God electrofry someone at the Creationist Museum?

We did some investigative journalism, research, dirt-digging, and things that mean the same thing as “using Google”, and uncovered the fact that there has been a feud going on between the CEO of the Creationist Museum and Pat Robertson!

You see, apparently Pat Robertson once said that the existence of dinosaurs is evidence that the planet is more than 6,000 years old.

To which the CEO of the Creationist Museum replied: En Garde, Bitch!

Is it possible that Pat Robertson, using his power and influence as God’s Weatherman, actually sent this lightning storm as punishment for the Creationist Museum CEO being a big, bad meany to Pat Roberson????

Of course, this is just speculation, BUT YOU THINK IT’S POSSIBLE, DON’T YOU???

We report, you decide.