Putin or Gay Porn Star?
Conservatives are all applauding Vladimir Putin for being such a strong leader, and for being so very very very anti-gay. What an awesome guy. Yet there is something a little off about his anti-gayness.If you take a close look at all of the very manly things that Putin does to prove how masculine and not-gay he is, they all look a little…. well, gay. As an objective and fair-and-balanced reporting outlet, we here at LiberalBias.com have to ask the question:
Is Vladimir Putin subconsciously copying the poses of his favorite gay porn stars?
For example, here we see Vladimir Putin riding a horse shirtless, and a gay porn star riding a horse shirtless, just for a visual comparison:And again:
And also carrying a gun:
And also fishing, although it should be noted that there were not any completely shirtless pictures of the gay porn star holding the fishing rod, presumably because he was smart enough to put the fishing rod down before taking off his shirt:
Now, there is ONE SHIRTLESS PICTURE of Putin for which we were unable to find a corresponding gay porn star picture. And that is this picture of Putin gasping for air while doing the butterfly stroke:
Of course, we were able to find plenty of pictures of gay porn stars in the water. But they never seem to actually be… well, swimming.
There are pictures of gay porn stars jumping into the water:
There are pictures of gay porn stars playing with balls in the water. (Duh).
And there are even pictures of gay porn stars playing with a cute puppy in the water:
But somehow, there are no pictures of gay porn stars gasping for air while doing a serious butterfly stroke, to match Putin’s infamous swimming picture.
So maybe that is why we can all sleep safely at night, and feel completely assured that Vladimir Putin, conservative hero, is not secretly mimicking the poses of all of his favorite gay porn stars, after all.
Whew.
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