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On The Constitution: "Words have meaning. And their meaning doesn’t change."
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On Facebook: "I don't know why anyone would like to be 'friended' on the network."
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On Feminism: "You can’t go to a movie—or watch a
television show for that matter—without hearing the constant use of the
F-word—including, you know, ladies using it."
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On Gay Rights: "I’m not a hater of homosexuals at all."
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On His Gay Friends: "I have friends that I know, or very much suspect, are homosexual. Everybody does."
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On His Own Vocabulary: "Not at the ukase of a Supreme Court... U-K-A-S-E."
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On The Devil: "[Leans in, stage-whispers.] I even believe in the Devil."
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On The Devil, Again: "What happened to the Devil, you know? He used to be all over the place."
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Yep, Still More On The Devil: "You’re looking at me
as though I’m weird. My God! Are you so out of touch with most of
America, most of which believes in the Devil?"
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On His TV Habits: "I don’t watch 'Homeland.' I
don’t even know what 'Homeland' is. I watched one episode of—what is it?
'Duck Dynasty'?"
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On His Favorite Comedian: "I loved Seinfeld. In
fact, I got some CDs of Seinfeld. Seinfeld was hilarious. Oh, boy. The
Nazi soup kitchen? No soup for you!"
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On His Media Diet: "I read newspapers that I think
are good newspapers, or if they’re not good, at least they don’t make me
angry, okay?"
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