20 Clues that you not a Progressive

by Grace Kelly on November 26, 2013 

 

Just like “Jesus” has become a label to pin on without bothering to help the poor, “progressive” has also become a label to pin on for popularity. These personal thoughts would be clues that you not a Progressive candidate.

1) When I run for office, I will have a focus group decide my stances on issues.
2) I am a nice person, why would I want to disagree with someone?
3) Education on issues is for lobbyists not elected officials.
4) Do I look good?
5) I won. Now my job is keeping my job.
6) In public I recycle, in private I won’t bother.
7) I think climate change will not significantly impact my personal life.
8) On issues, I will look for big media win possibilities and ignore incremental media-invisible win possibilities.
9) Smiling and smoozing are my important assets.
9) Hanging out with the 1% is proving one has made it in life.
10) What’s all the hype about people having to work on Thanksgiving?
11) Those long documents on issues that everyone sends are so boring.
12) I will let my assistant handle the correspondence on all the non-important people.
13) Republicans get to drive the more fun cars.
14) I wonder what office I could run for next?
15) I love that audience when I speak. It is good to be loved back.
16) I wonder if I can get one of those free nifty trips.
17) Isn’t great how neat and clean my desk is?
18) Enough on issues, can we talk about the Vikings now?
19) I have wait to the end of the vote, to see what is my best strategic move.
20) Someone at my door, another opportunity to get something.

Feel free to add in the comments, what you have heard from non-progressive candidates.