Texas Wingnut Steve Stockman To Primary John Cornyn For Senate, Tila Tequila To Primary James Inhofe
by Doktor Zoom
Your choice of icky rightwing jerks In a surprise last-minute move, Texas congressidiot Steve Stockman filed to run for John Cornyn’s seat in the Senate just a few minutes before the deadline. So now we can look forward to yet another internecine Republican fight between the guy who invited Ted Nugent to be his guest at the State of the Union, and the guy who says that Barack Obama only pursued a nuclear deal with Iran to distract attention from Obamacare. We remember the days when Republicans howled at Ned Lamont for “purging” Joe Lieberman from the Democratic primary, a one-man Cultural Revolution. You won’t see us doing that. Let David Duke primary David Vitter! Let an insane person (okay, an even more insane person) primary James Inhofe! Let’s let shit get real!
Cornyn had been considered a safe bet for reelection, but then he went and got the tea party angry at him when he failed to make sweet love to Ted Cruz’s clever plan to kill Obamacare by shutting down the government. If only Cornyn had been on board, you just know it would’ve worked, too.
And so Stockman is going to run to the right of a guy who claims to be the second most conservative member of the Senate. Cornyn’s got buttloads of money, but Stockman appears to have vast reserves of pure wingnut rage and dickishness, and we must remember, this is Texas we’re talking about. The Senate Conservatives Fund, which has helped push several primary challenges to sitting Republican Senators, isn’t quite endorsing Stockman, but the group’s head loon, Matt Hoskins, said tht he’s glad Stockman is running:
“Texas deserves two conservative fighters in the Senate, not just one. John Cornyn has voted to increase the debt, raise taxes, bail out Wall Street banks, and fund Obamacare. He’s part of the problem in Washington and voters deserve an alternative.”
In other words, the usual arglebargle where voting to actually have a functioning government is a sign of dangerous totalitarian Kenyan Nazi liberalism. Because really, what isn’t?
The real question is which of them is Nelson Mandela?