U.S. Military preparing to kill Christians and Tea Partiers, says American Family Association
by Robyn PennacchiaOct 28, 2013
Oh goody. The delightful Bryan Fischer of The American Family Association is once again trotting out his pipe dream about how the government is secretly planning to murder all the Christians.
“The military is being conditioned to use weapons on the American Family Association. The soldiers are being conditioned in their brains to think of evangelicals, Tea Partyers, the American Family Association and the Family Research Council as domestic enemies that may have to be neutralized by lethal force,” Fischer maintained. “The people you got to watch out for, you may have to turn your tanks on, are American Family Association.”Look, Fischer. I’ve read Jack Chick tracts. I know that in order for this whole second coming thing to happen you need all us non-believers to start oppressing you or beheading you and making you write 666 on your forehead or whatever—and I hate to break it to you, but this is definitely not going to happen. I mean, you can at least count me out. I’m a pacifist, I faint at the sight of blood, and honestly, I just don’t have time in my schedule for any beheadings. I’ve got my own things going on and cannot take time out of my day to moonlight as an executioner. I also don’t care how you choose to decorate your forehead. Not a big priority for me, or anyone I know.
Also, Christians make up a huge majority of this country, and a huge majority of the military. We’ve got like, one atheist Congressman and one atheist senator, total. Do you really think we’re gonna get it together to kill you, even if that were on our agenda? Ever notice how the police in riot gear don’t even show up to your things? They show up to all of ours. If you really want to feel oppressed, try protesting a war sometime.
Which, by the way, it’s not. We don’t want to kill you, OK? It’d be nice if you stopped being a dick, but hey, this is America and that is your right.
Image: Daniel in the Lion’s Den, Rubens