NEW YORK AG SUES DONALD TRUMP FOR $40M OVER ‘GET-RICH’ SCAM
|One man got rich. Donald Trump!!!|
Following news that the New York Attorney General was suing him for $40M for the ‘get-rich’ claims made by the overpriced and deceptively operated Trump University, Donald Trump issued the following statement:
From the Desk of Donald Trump (née Drumpf)
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, I have two words for you: “You’re Fired.”
I have just been informed that I am not allowed to fire the New York Attorney General. But in truth, I thought it was Gary Busey playing a prank on me.
First, leOnd man got richt me say I am deeply disappointed to learn that I am actually being sued for $40M, because I don’t actually have that much cash right now.
Second, I would like to apologize to anyone who paid $35,000 to attend Trump University thinking they would: a) learn anything; b) get rich; or c) meet me, Donald Trump simply because the brochure said: “Learn how to get rich directly from the real Donald Trump.” Don’t believe the hype, people.
Third, every student at Trump University was hustled out the door with a souvenir picture of themselves posing next to a cardboard cutout of me. I just wish it wasn’t that one unflattering picturing of me where my hair’s blowing all over the place.
Fourth, how many times do I have to rip people off with my phony get-rich schemes before they realize I’m a total charlatan. I mean, seriously, would you give $35,000 to a reality TV star better known as #FuckfaceVonClownstick?
Fifth, I would like to say that at least one student at the Trump University did achieve his dream of getting rich through the school. His name: Donald Trump. Thank you, suckers.
And sixth, if I lose this case, I want Bill Maher to know I’ll be coming after him for the $5M he still owes me for that orangutan business.
"Yesterday in New York City, Donald Trump officially changed his political affiliation from Republican to Independent. And Donald's hair has switched from pelt to carpet sample." –Jay Leno
"Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters — all of whom are late night comedians." –Conan O'Brien
NYS Attorney General Eric Schneiderman just called me #FuckfaceVonClownstick. My response: http://t.co/0zn7aXzFwd pic.twitter.com/J7073JaYcnFollow Donald Drumpf on Twitter: http://twitter.com/realdonaldrumpf
— Donald J. Drumpf (@RealDonalDrumpf) August 25, 2013
Read more of Donald Drumpf’s contributions to Wink Progress: http://winkprogress.com/?s=Drumpf