LOL!!! Only 29% of Americans want the U.S. to attack Syria

Only 29% of Americans want the U.S. to attack Syria - which on the plus side means that 29% of Americans know there is a place called Syria." -Stephen Colbert 

"The United States has no choice but to attack Syria because Dictator Bashar al-Assad is killing his own people with chemical weapons. Before, he was just killing them with bullets. But if America cared about shooting people, we'd be invading Chicago." -Stephen Colbert


"Syria's President Assad referred to President Obama as weak. Obama is so angry he plans to ask Congress for permission to come up with a good comeback." -Conan O'Brien 

"They have proof now that Syria has rockets full of gas -- enormous payloads of gas. How can I describe to you the size of these giant payloads of gas? Have you ever seen Rush Limbaugh?" -David Letterman


"I guess we're getting ready to attack Syria. But if we win, in the semifinals we face Iran." –David Letterman

"You know what, folks? I miss George W. Bush. That man knew how to sell a war. Obama has hard evidence of weapons of mass destruction and he can't even get England to go along with it. Meanwhile, President Bush got an international coalition with nothing more than Colin Powell's reputation and half a test tube of crystal light." –Stephen Colbert

"They have proof now that Syria has rockets full of gas -- enormous payloads of gas. How can I describe to you the size of these giant payloads of gas? Have you ever seen Rush Limbaugh?" -David Letterman

"President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare." –Jay Leno

"President Obama is pretty clever. Did you see what he is doing to get Congress to approve the attack? He told them Syrian President Assad supports Obamacare." –Jay Leno