GOP Hopes to Shutdown Government Flu Program As New Deadly Flu Spreads in AsiaRepublicans are ramping up their efforts to kill you and your loved ones by shutting down the government’s seasonal flu program as part of the overall government shutdown that will cost taxpayers billions of dollars.
“This is a very exciting opportunity,” said Paul Ryan. “Flu season is a great time to cull the US grandma population. Last year’s deadly flu season killed a record number of grandmas, and now we have a real opportunity to speed up that effort by completely halting America’s seasonal flu program just as a new deadly bird flu has started killing people in China. It could be here by Christmas! I’m so excited, I think I just peed myself a little.”
According to the Huffington Post, the flu program Ryan and the GOP would shut down ‘is part of a series of initiatives that the CDC undertakes to spot and ultimately limit the spread of disease. Vaccine manufacturers have produced 135 million to 139 million doses of flu vaccine for this season. And while vaccine planning is a critical CDC function at risk of being stalled by a shutdown, it is far from the only one… The CDC also would be unable to provide “technical assistance, analysis, and support to state and local partners for infectious disease and surveillance,” according to a Department of Health and Human Services memo about the effects of a possible government shutdown. Meanwhile, the Food and Drug Administration would be “unable to support the majority of its food safety, nutrition, and cosmetics activities,” including some basic compliance and enforcement functions.’
“Democrats have resisted my plan to kill Medicare for way too long,” added Ryan. “But I’m constantly coming up with new ways to threaten the lives of seniors. Taking Food Stamps away was a good first step. Hopefully we can make millions of grandmas even more frail before flu season hits. Then BAM! This will be fun. Give your grandma one last kiss from me. And remember, if she does snuff it this flu season, blame Obama.”
Full story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/27/government-shutdown-influenza_n_4005764.html