Thursday, November 7, 2013

The Mess That’s Texas

Quote of the Day: The Mess That’s Texas

By · November 06,2013

Screen Shot 2013-11-06 at 5.15.06 PM
From Charlie Pierce’s “What’s the Matter with Texas?” post over at Esquire today:
The voters in the state of Texas would prefer Louie Gohmert, the lowest watt bulb in what is an admittedly dim chandelier, to Julian Castro, one of the best young candidates the Democratic party in that state has to offer. And they would do so by nine fking points. A full nine percent more of them would vote for a man who thinks people are sneaking into the country to have babies for the purposes of having them grow up to be terrorists, who thinks pipelines are good because caribou like to hump next to them, who thinks the Muslim Brotherhood has infiltrated the White House, who thinks the Aurora theater shooting was God’s angry vengeance for the absence of prayer in the schools, and who nominated Allen West for Speaker of the House after West already had lost for re-election. This isn’t sending your government off the rails. It’s sending it over a cliff, lighting it on fire on the way down, and feeding the flaming embers to great white sharks with asbestos mouths. This isn’t gee-I-hope-he-wins-the-primary because that would be good for the Democrats. Right now, he would win the damn election.
Louie Gohmert.
By nine points.
Holy mother of god.
I realize it’s bad form to crib a substantial portion of a post from another source, but this is so fantastic that I want to do my small part to make sure it’s seen by every single person who follows politics online.
Coincidentally, the Huffington Post published a fun little piece yesterday called “10 Things We’d Lose If Texas Actually Seceded” and, if you need the short version, the answer is nothing. We’d lose absolutely nothing. Those ten things add up to exactly zero. About a year ago, I expressed this same sentiment in an open letter here at Banter.
Bottom line: Please, Texas, make good on all those threats and get the fuck out already. You won’t be missed. We can even set up some kind of refugee program to get the few smart ones out.

1 comment:

  1. :waves white flag: Come save us, we are yanks stuck in Texas!!