Thursday, November 14, 2013

Rush Limbaugh Fans Now Literally Crapping Their Pants

Rush Limbaugh Fans Now Literally Crapping Their Pants

An unpleasant new affliction is sweeping across the ranks of loyal Rush Limbaugh listeners who are gullible enough to buy the right wing talk show host's apocalyptic view of our nation.
And in true greedy right wing fashion, an opportunistic business has seized upon its chance to capitalize on these unfortunate Dittoheads' misery.
On Tuesday, an alert Flush Rush monitor caught an ad during the Rush Limbaugh broadcast for Butterfly Body Liners, a product designed to protect against "accidental bowel leakage."
          Yes, Rush Limbaugh fans are now regularly crapping their pants.
But why?  What is it about the Tea Party darling's inflammatory program that causes people to lose control of their bowels?  And why now?? Rush Limbaugh has always been a skilled fearmongerer.  But his ability to frighten listeners increased exponentially with the election of our country's first African American president.  Limbaugh has convinced his listeners that Obama is tribalizing America, that he's just like Hitler, Stalin, and Mao, and that he may seek a 3rd term as president.
But if the thought of a black president-for-life wasn't enough to send right wingers into a pants-crapping frenzy, the gay marriage issue did it.
Ahead of the Supreme Court's decision on the Defense of Marriage Act, Limbaugh had listeners believing that if gay marriage became legal it would inevitably lead to marriage between people and furniture, unions between people and animals, and even legalized sex with children. And with Hawaii now ready to become the 15th state to allow same-sex marriage, Limbaugh listeners have apparently reached the breaking point and commenced pants soiling.
The only unanswered question here is a sort of a chicken-or-the-egg mystery.  Is the sudden boon for Butterfly Body Liners sales simply fortuitous timing?  Or did Limbaugh have some sort of secret behind-the-scenes deal with the company to scare the shit out of his fans for a cut of the profits?
                           Well that Depends on who you ask.
Let's review. This
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But don't worry, there's always this
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